Breaking Free from the Fear of Man: Finding Your Identity in God’s Love
The Battle Between the Fear of God and the Fear of Man
Have you ever experienced the Holy Spirit’s conviction in a quiet, but distinct way?
He whispers to you what you’ve been sensing in the back of your mind for a while, but have been too afraid to admit. He reminds you of His sovereignty and omniscience (all knowing) while gently offering you grace.That’s been my experience with God lately. He’s been convicting and uprooting sinful tendencies in my heart, and slowly replacing them with His love, grace, mercy, and character.
I was doing my quiet time one morning and knew in my heart God was speaking to me.
It was as if the words on the page were written for me at that exact moment in time. That’s how God’s Word works. It’s alive and active, and it is meant for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness (Hebrews 4:12 & 2 Timothy 3:16).
Sometimes it hits like a punch though doesn’t it?
Here’s what God has been revealing to me, and might want to speak to you as well.
“The fear of God doesn’t mean we’re afraid of Him. It means that we’re in such awe of His power, glory, and perfection that it leads us to obedience, worship, and service to Him. ”
As Christians we battle between the fear of God and the fear of man.
The fear of God doesn’t mean we’re afraid of Him. It means that we’re in such awe of His power, glory, and perfection that it leads us to obedience, worship, and service to Him. It means we follow Him and trust Him even when we don’t understand.
In contrast the fear of man is being consumed by what other people think and believe about us. Fearing man can determine our thoughts, our decisions, and our actions. When we fear man we replace God’s place in our lives with that of other people.
What Fear of Man Looks Like
Fear of man can come across in many different forms:
peer pressure
comparison and envy
lying to protect how people perceive you
people pleasing
overthinking your words or actions
seeking approval or affirmation from others (hello social media!)
When we fear man more than God it leads to a life filled with discontentment, disappointment, bitterness, and resentment because we’re never truly satisfied with what other’s think about us. It strips us of our secure identity in Christ and anchors us to the ever-changing opinions of others.
My Personal Example
Let me give you a personal example:
I’ve been battling comparison and envy lately which isn’t easy to admit. I look at other’s around me and size myself up — either finding myself better or worse. I can’t seem to find contentment in who God made me — my personality quirks, how I parent, the way I’m aging compared to others, my lifestyle. Everywhere I look I see something wrong with myself.
I attempt to perfect myself in order to receive approval from others. I want to feel better about who I am, specifically my insecurities, so I seek affirmation from others. This often comes across in the form of perfectionism and performance for me. If I work harder, do more, and accomplish the most then I’ll feel secure in who I am and know that I’m loved.
The Problem with Seeking Approval from Others
But the problem is — it never works. No matter how hard I try, the standard keeps shifting. The compliments fade. The achievements feel empty. And the insecurity still lingers. Chasing the approval of others only leaves me exhausted and further from the peace I’m desperate for. Deep down, I know this isn’t how God intended me to live. I’ve been looking to people to tell me who I am, when the One who created me already has.
The Antidote: God’s Love
We know that fear of man only leads us down a path of disappointment. It reveals our insecurities and opens the door for the devil to whisper lies that we’re not good enough, we’re not loved, and we’re not chosen.
So what’s the antidote for the fear of man? God’s love!
When we trust in God, we are safe. We know that nothing can separate us from God’s love (Romans 8:38-39) which gives us hope and peace. We have a secure foundation in God, knowing that we are His children. The beautiful truth is that we are already chosen and loved. When Jesus died on the cross, He took on all our shortcomings, insecurities, worries, fears, and sins. He chose us, adopted us, and stamped us with His seal of approval through the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:3-14).
Knowing this truth, we can break free from the approval of others by stepping into our God given identity as sons and daughters of the Most High King. When we know and recognize we are already loved and approved by God, we can release the need for acceptance from others. We have this hope, peace, and security in who we are because of Jesus.
When disappointment attempts to overtake us, when comparison sneaks in, when our worries consume us we can remember this truth — nothing can separate us from God’s love. Not rejection. Not disapproval from others. Not judgment. Not ridicule. Nothing anyone does can or will change the way God sees us.
We are chosen, set apart, loved, cherished, secure, created with purpose, beauty, and intention.
Questions to Reflect On
Who are you more afraid of? God or man?
Who’s opinion is more important in your life?
Who do you desire to glorify and serve?
God is patient and full of grace. If you’re struggling with the fear of man like I am, come lay at His feet and surrender to Him. He will accept you with open arms and lovingly draw your heart back to Him — leading you to desire after Him more than the approval of others.
If this resonates with you, take a moment to pray this simple prayer:
God, I confess that I often care more about what others think of me than what You say is true about me. I’ve let the approval of people take up space in my heart that belongs to You. But today, I surrender that. Help me to see myself through Your eyes — as someone made with care, purpose, and love. Draw my heart back to You. Teach me to desire You above all else. Remind me that I am already accepted, already loved, and already secure in You. In Jesus’ name, amen.